Debts
by batteredtruth
Summary: A strange story I thought up recently involving Yuffie, Vincent, and Yuffie's problems with debt....along with stealing materia. Rated 'T' for slight use of language


(sigh) I usually don't like these sort of parodies, and I know this was a horrible idea for me to try out, but for some odd reason I like my strange creation. I based it off some of my own experiences working for a department store, and in the next chapter I put in many references to such happenings in my own life. I'm currently working on the second chapter, for it sucks miserably. in my opinion it takes skilled writers to pull off an unavoidably ooc-ness filled story such as this one and make it acceptable to those who are capable of even the most minute mental processes and are capable of understanding the true characters that are unprofessionally portrayed by a fan, and I'm not all that original to begin with. This wasn't a good idea...(sigh) forgive me. I apologize for any killing of the characers I do (not physically, but speaking of the amount of ooc-ness...) I'm over-explaining myself...

note: Consider this a sequel to 'Shifty Vincent'. It's totally spell-checked, although the spacing between words is getting screwed up,since recently I bought microsoft word. Wordpad just doesn't cut it. No more 'nagovers' instead of 'hangovers'...

ooc-ness alert: As I apologized for earlier,I made vincent a tad too talkative to be the man of few words...who knows what i did to Yuffie...

Disclaimer: It's pretty self-explanatory who owns these characters (obviously not me, let alone any normal human being for that matter)...it's Square-Enix if you've been ignorant to the rpg world for the last couple decades.

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"Yuffie."

She looked up at the man who glared down at her, his face shadowed by his jet black hair and red cape, his crimson eyes glowing like the fires of Hell. She smiled mischievously. "Yes?" She tried to sound as innocent as possible.

"……Repeat to me what I told you last time."

Yuffie fought back a surge of laughter, swallowing her rather inappropriate reply. She had been hanging around Cid too much lately. Deciding to be more honest, she smiled sweetly, "'Do not go into anyone's room without permission, and don't even consider stealing anyone's materia anymore.' Yeah, I remember."

"Yuffie, do you understand that those guidelines apply to you?" Yuffie could hear him straining to keep his voice calm. She really pissed him off this time. Too bad she couldn't fix it now…

Her voice wavered slightly as Vincent's eyes burned through Yuffie's cool exterior, "…Yeah….why?" She knew why, but Vincent's reaction could prove to be amusing.

He struggled to control his anger and not transform into one of his demonic forms to rip and tear the little ninja to bloody shreds. His eye twitched as he answered, "Where….is my……materia?" Despite his anger, he was able to keep his voice calm.

"Oh…heheh, go missing did they?"

He cocked a brow, "Don't play with me you amateur."

It was her turn to cock a brow, "Excuuse me?"

"Next time, don't leave your headband in the air vents. It makes your presence rather obvious."

Yuffie then gasped, feeling around her forehead and hair for her trademark headband, suddenly realizing it wasn't there. Vincent's clawed hand appeared from under his cape, the headband in his grasp. Nervously giggling, she accepted it back.

His claw disappeared back underneath his cape. "So, where's my materia this time?"

"I don't have 'em." Yuffie cowered in a nearby chair, reverting her gaze to the steel floor of the newly-named Shera, swirling her finger through her short hair.

Vincent cocked a brow again, noticing Yuffie's reluctance, "I fear what you have to say, but spit it out." He flexed his claw to provide her an incentive to cooperate.

"Do you remember when I mentioned my trip to the Gold Saucer way back when……?"

Vincent crossed his arms, "You mean two days ago?"

"Uh—yeah……well……..you remember that friend I mentioned…."

"Quit rambling."

"I—ah—made him a deal…"

"Quit mumbling."

"Well, I kinda owed him some money, since I borrowed a bunch way back when….."

"No."

"Yeah."

"You didn't."

"I…..pawned off your materia to pay him off."

Vincent glared at her in such a way that would scare Chaos shitless. "You know you'll pay dearly for this." His voice was unusually calm. This scared her even more, especially since the glow in his eyes began to pulse.

"Well, you could always get a job."

Vincent's intensified glare spoke for itself. "And why should I get a job to pay for your mistake?"

"Because there's nothing I can do….I have no money, and I'm working off a previous debt for the same friend…"

"You're such a sucker, Kisaragi."

"I know, I know…"

"I want my materia, Kisaragi."

"I know, but I can't do anything about it. You'll just have to buy them back."

"That's another matter I meant to discuss with you…..you took all my gil too."

"Oh yeah, that's right, heheh…….oops. That definitely means you need to get a job."

Vincent stared at her, daring her to say it again.

"Well, if you ever want your materia back, you'll have to."

A corner of Vincent's mouth snaked upwards, creating a warped attempt at a smile. Yuffie's eyes went wide, seeing how Vincent never smiles, or never is caught at it hiding behind the lip of his red cape. She then caught the gist of his amusement. "Oh no, not mine. I had to pawn some of mine off just to fend off my friend for a while."

A frown returned to Vincent's face, "Some friend you have. Especially since they let you dig yourself six feet under."

She caught his pun, knowing to take Vincent seriously with that threat. "I'm sorry, alright." She slumped in the chair.

"How is it that you always drag me into your rather foolish situations? Why not Cloud or Tifa, or anyone else for that matter? Not that I'm promoting this reckless behavior."

Yuffie shrugged, "Dunno. No reason, really. Cloud gets moody if you mess around with him; Tifa will stalk you to the ends of the earth, ask Cloud if you don't believe me; Barret will go homicidal without any thought. Remember last time? He had to ask for your help to get me back; Cait Sith isn't even real; Aerith is dead; Nanaki doesn't even get my teasing; Cid just swears at you and doesn't bother to retaliate most of the time; and the Turks tend to gang up on you—" She slipped, covering her mouth, "Heehee, oops."

"I'm not even going to ask what you did to the Turks, let alone the rest of our crew." He sighed, exasperated, "Am I that amusing to toy with?"

"Yes, truthfully. You fight back with class." Yuffie gave him a big grin.

Vincent snorted, "I feel honored."

Yuffie snapped her fingers, apparently dawning upon a revelation, "I know! I've been meaning to return to my ol' job anyways, since this thing with the silver-haired Sephiroth lackeys are done with, and maybe……I can hook you up a job!"

He cocked a brow, "How is that paying me back for your recklessness?"

"Because, you need a job to get your materia back. The sooner the better, right?" Her eyes narrowed, brows reached for the sky, and a smile mischievously curved her lips as she continued, "You wouldn't want anyone to _buy _your materia before you had the chance, would you?" She elbowed him, "Eh? EH?"

He rolled his eyes, knowing this was his only way out.Cloud was smart enough not tobail him out of Yuffie's pranks, no matter how much he wanted to help the unlucky ex-Turk. That always brought dire consequences to everyone involved, even if they weren't caused by Yuffie directly. Yuffie could be best described as that black cat that crosses your path…

Vincent agreed reluctantly, sighing as he did so. He didn't have the heart to drag Cloud into this anyways. "So, what is it that you do? Your employer seems tolerant with your many long, spontaneous and presumably unexcused absences with us."

Yuffie waved it off like a minor matter, "Oh, I just work in a large department store, in the Wutaian branch to be more specific." Vincent stared at her blankly. "It's Mimettgreens, you know, like K-mart except successful."

"You….work at Mimettgreens?"

She stuck her tongue out at him, "Hey, the pay isn't that bad. It's above minimum wage." He stared blankly at her, unimpressed with her attempts to sway him over, "Hey, you'll have your materia back in a few paychecks."

His eyes narrowed.

"Hey, it could be worse."

He furrowed his brow.

She got the hint. "Alright, I'll...uh...schedule an interview. Is that peachy with you?"

He glared at her skeptically for her terminology. She took it as a yes.


End file.
